If only she cared….

The 23rd of November (2007) was meant to be another momentous day for us - the day we walk into our first investment property as owners, being joyfully greeted by the most expensive thing we own todate (yup….it even cost us more than the home that we currently live in!).  We did get the keys,….but it wasn’t joy that greeted us when we walked through the front door.  It was shock and utter disgust that said “hello”.  The condition in which the property was left to us was simply sickening. 

Room by room we walked through.  Sighing. I vaguely remember calling out to the boys,..again and again..“Don’t touch anything.  It is all dirty.”.  That’s the way it was.  Dirty.  Wrappers, crushed cans, newspaper, rags,…strewn all over the house, inside and out.  The unlidded rubbish bins were full.  The smell disgusting.  Calenders and posters were still up on walls.  Cobwebs everywhere. The spa,..filled with ‘green’ water.  Both sheds - full of rubbish.   Both yards, front and back, full of dog poo!! She didn’t care at all, we thought.  If she could treat her own pet like a prisoner, why would she even think about us.  We were just strangers buying her house.

Slowly it sunk in.  There was work to be done. Lots of it. 

I took photos that day.  We needed proof.  I also took out a sheet of paper, making a list of all that was required to be done. 

1.  Hire a skip
2.  Check all light fittings
3.  Paint walls
4.  Paint ceiling in ensuite
5.  Clean spa
6.  etc…etc..etc

We spent 4 full days, cleaning and cleaning and cleaning.  The suprises didn’t end.  The more we cleaned,.the more problems we found.  We found bullets that had to be taken to the police station for disposal.  We found out that the spa was leaking.  We found an attic full of empty boxes. 

It is Day Number 6 today,…and I am still holding my breath. 

Our property managers have started advertising for tenants.  Our fingers are crossed, hoping that things can only get better from now.

Parents - Social Judges?

This morning, during our usual morning chat after dropping our kids off at school, Y and I talked about how our children were socialising.  [Y has a 6 year old son (and a toddler).]  I was somewhat relieved to know that I am not unreasonably over-protective as I thought I was when it came to my boys. Y and I agreed that we had an important role in being involved with our children’s social interactions, and, that it was not as easy as we would like it to be. 

How do we, as parents, identify and judge social boundaries for our children?  What are the rules?  Are we short changing our children, if we do impose these rules?  The list of questions is endless…

I try to think back to the time when I was in primary school and what role my parents played when it came to my social interactions.

I cannot say that I had a rich “outside-school life” during my primary school days.  Between the age of 7 and 12, my social life was synonymous with school life.  It was only at school that I did all my socialising.  There was a good reason for this too.  Both, mum and dad worked full time.  Our weekends were their rest days, and this was respected.  As I did all my socialising in school, there were no rules or boundaries imposed by my parents.  I could interact with whomever I wanted with at school.  I made that decision.  Would I have been better off if I had my parents instructing me on friendships at the time?  Personally, I think I may have been worst off if that had happened!  

As an individual, child or adult, we have to figure out the dynamics of the environment that we are in by ourselves.  Naturally, our reaction to every social interaction (at any point in time) is the result of the accumulated perception and interpretation of what we have seen, heard and experienced in our total life up to that point.  No two people will have a similar sense of being, anytime, anywhere.  If this is the case, does this mean that, to ensure that our children take the “positive and enriched social life route”, as parents we have to think 1 step back (as opposed to 1 step forward)?  Do we have to work backwards from where we want them to be socially in the future, to create the necessary environments in which their social perceptions and experiences are being built on?  Personally, I think so…..And, this is no easy task.

Reading Time

One of the highlights from today was the pleasure gained from teaching my children the art of reading time.  They picked it up in under 30 minutes, beaming with pride.  As a mum, this was my accomplishment too. 

Later,… I couldn’t help but wonder,…that this is when it all begins.  Time regulation…..  Existing within the time warp….. Being a slave to time….  It is at this point that a child loses his rein of a carefree life, to become consumed within this man-made world of timeliness.  Efficiency will soon become a concept in their little world,…measuring every little matter to time.  This will continue throughout their lifes.  Measuring.  Being measured. 

Bill Panic

Is it just me or does everyone occasionally go through a mad emotional state of ‘bill panic’?  I am not referring to the emotions encountered when looking at a grand amount on a bill!  (That’s a different blog post altogether…).  I’m talking about the jitters or turmoil one may feel when visiting your mailbox and finding that familiar (or sometimes not familiar) ‘mail’ item. 

It goes like this….

The somatic sensations do not start until you are almost near the mailbox.  It begins with that little voice at the back of your mind asking a question….”What if there is a bill in there?”.  Eventhough you do not physically or mentally answer that question, your reaction to it, itself , sends an uncomfortable mental tingle, slowing your stride down some nano seconds.  Your eyes strain to get a glimpse of what might be.  Occasionally, you might find yourself actually saying something out loud,..like “Where will my money fly to today?” or “I hope there won’t be too many in there.”.  Other times, you may simply just sigh. 

Playdate Mondays

Mondays are usually reserved for playdates……not for me of course,….for the boys.  With kids’ schedules these days,….making a playdate usually has to be done in advance.  A couple of weeks at least! (This also means that mums have to be well organised to ensure that their children are not left without a social life).  (Thus, another reason for my earlier post regarding my dilemma about being organised).

Why Mondays, you may ask.  Well, Wednesdays and Fridays are out due to tennis and swimming classes.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are days we prepare for the boys’ ‘Show & Tell’ for the week.  These are also the days that they are meant to do a little extra studies at home (to get into the habit for later life, of course!). 

Personally, I think Mondays are the best days for playdates.  For one, the boys always look forward to Mondays.  I remember this never being the case for me when I was growing up :).  Additionally, they have also got a good reason to ensure that they don’t mess up their room too much in the weekend….. which is no easy task, I must add!

Diwali 2007

The special day of Diwali fell on Thursday, 8 Nov 07, this year.  I had decided to make it special.  In all our nine years living in Melbourne, we had only spent one year celebrating Diwali in Malaysia.  J was 6 months old then, and V didn’t even exist! 

Last year’s celebration was special too.  My parents had coincided their visit to Melbourne with the festival. We celebrated it full on without leaving out any bits of tradition! This was when the boys had their first real taste of celebrating this special Hindu festival - and there was no turning back.  To my little precious ones, Diwali is synonymous with sparklers!

Now getting back to this year,…our Diwali morning (which fell on a Thursday) was started off with s traditional Indian breakfast of thosai and chicken curry.  It was my first attempt ever at making thosai from scratch,…and I must say, I was very delighted with the result.  The boys already love chicken curry, so there were no dramas trying to get them to eat.  (There were no complains about not having Weet-Bix :o).

After sending the boys to school, I got busy in the kitchen.  As I had already cooked chicken curry and fried prawns the day before as the main dishes, I decided on chicken kurma and fried diced lamb as the main dishes for the special day.  Cooking lasted around 3 hours - and I was very proud of myself with the dishes.  (As I am blogging this 10 days later - I know that I am missing out on important details here and there…..will update the post as and when they come to mind).

When the boys got home from school, they had some new clothes to change into.  Thankfully, the weather was warm enough for them to spend time playing outside, before Pillay got home (early) for a family dinner. 

The next day (Friday), after school/work, we went to the Vinayagar Temple, which is about 20 minutes away.  The boys were delighted to stay up and play with the sparklers.  As I watched them, my thoughts moved on to how I will have to make the next occasion an even more elaborate one! Happy Diwali!

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Note: I was very thankful for the Diwali wishes that came in their various forms (cards, Facebook greetings, text messages) from family and some friends.  For these special people who cared,…… thank you.  I appreciate your gesture more than you might realise…..♥

To Be or Not To Be?

To be or not to be……organised.  Ever since retiring from the paid workforce last year (Sept 2006), I have noticed that my much appreciated “organised” trait is slowly vanishing…. Is this a good sign or a bad one?   This very question is my current dilemma!

I had gone through 2007 (so far) without a daily planner.  Occasionally, I fall back into old habits,…one being updating my Outlook calender.  However, I discover again, and again,…that my new occupation of being a full time mum/wife - one that doesn’t see me sitting in front of a computer screen all day, doesn’t suit an Outlook calender……(or if you prefer to look at it the other way,…an Outlook calender isn’t suitable for my current lifestyle :o)

Anyway,… in one of my recent trips to Office Works (the stationery mega store),…I couldn’t help but buy myself a beautiful black jacketed 2008 Daily Planner! As soon as I got home, I had excitedly updated the front page with all the basic details (name, telephone number, emergency contact person etc, etc).  Now it was just a matter of waiting for 2008 to roll in! Ha! Ha! …..But, the more menacing question is,….what does all this mean?