Yesterday, something unusual happened…… We had some friends over at our place for afternoon tea! This doesn’t happen often. In fact, apart from the occasional play-dates that I organise for the boys every alternate week or so, we had not held a social gathering of any sort at our home ….THIS WHOLE YEAR! As usual, the birthday parties were held elsewhere, and all the other family occasions were celebrated in a small manner with just us, the family.
Being the end of the year and all, when one cannot help but reminisce the current year and resolute for the next, I did exactly that. I thought about what it meant to have limited social gatherings at the homefront and more importantly, what this meant for my children.
As a child, I grew up in a family environement that valued the sanctity of privacy more than social celebrations. Anytime we had a social event at home, it appeared to me that my parents always saw it as a lot of work - right from planning the menu, to making sure that the house was clean. Even though I remember the events themselves to be always joyous, the journey there never seemed sweet. Unfortunately for me, it appears that the ’stress’ and ‘unpleasantness’ of these experiences have stuck on me. I find myself, often repeating the familiar dialogue from long ago….
As a parent, I now ask myself - what kind of impression do I want to leave my children with when it came to entertaining at home? The answer to that question is simple and straightforward - I want them to love entertaining family and good friends at home. I want them to feel comfortable having people in their private sanctuary. I want them to reap the joy gained from having the love, friendship and goodwill of the good people envelope them as they open their heart and home to one and all.
On this second last day of the year, I resolve to be less vain and more sociable….. if not for my own personal benefit, then for the legacy that I leave my children. I resolve not to be concerned about when is the ‘best time’ to call friends over. I will not worry about whether the house is tidy enough, or ponder about what I should cook and then strain myself worrying about whether the meal will be enjoyed. I will not stress about cleaning every corner or waste my time deciding on what freshener I would have to get for the bathroom.
Instead, I resolve to making a list of special people to invite over for company and continuously updating it along the way; and to count down to each occasion with excitement and joy, sharing every second of it with my children.
). Had we have known the gruelling test that we were to be put through, we might have at least tried to persuade our little one to change his mind about having a basketball hoop in our back yard.
If your kids are anything like mine, you may find that the novelty (ie. quality of being new) of gifts received on Christmas morning could be rather short lived. In past Christmases, we have found that the life span of the ‘excitement’ of a new toy could be as short as 12 hours! No kidding. As parents, we start wondering if we had selected the ‘correct’ gifts for our children. In my view, the lifespan of a child’s interest in an item (for example, a toy), corresponds with their desire for the particular item, or the ability of the item being able to satisfy a special need or interest in the child. For example, your child’s interest (and therefore, attention span) on the bicycle that you have so carefully hidden in the back shed, will last longer if:
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