Into the Melting Pot

I read an interesting article this morning, one that was in the Good Weekend magazine.  The article titled “Into the Melting Pot” was written about how the diets of migrants (into Australia) changed due to their migration.  The story followed three families - a Greek family, a Vietnamese family and a Sudanese family.  The piece captivated me.  It is usual for me to be fascinated by the smorgasbord of world culture and tradition, and I loved reading how these families had evolved in diet, blending into a new ‘way-of-food’ that none had imagined before their migration.

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This is my story. 

Hubby and I migrated to Melbourne 10 years ago.  We migrated as a young couple, setting up home for the very first time.  As a new wife then, the biggest challenge I had was …. cooking!!  I never did any up to then!!   Of course, I could fry an egg,..but honestly,… that was as far as it went. 

[When I lived at home, Mum had done all the cooking.  Then, as a working-girl, in the fast-paced city of Kuala Lumpur, there just was no time to learn. Literally.  (I used to leave the house at 6:30am and only arrived home after 9pm).  That was how it was.  In Malaysia then, Saturday was a working day ... and often Sundays too (auditors out there will account for this )]

So, as new migrants, our diet did initially inevitably change, for reasons due to shortage of necessary skill on my part.  For a long while, there wasn’t any chicken curry or fish sothi, or even parapu kadyal…. to name some of my favourite.  No spicy fried chicken or even fish for that matter, not even fried mee hoon!! I just didn’t know how to cook these dishes!  Unlike the women in the article, I didn’t bring that knowledge with me.  Then, I had feared that a big part of my life was left behind.  The food I loved and always took for granted.  “Was I fated for Meat Loaf and Shepard’s Pie and ‘Bangers and Mash’ for the rest of my life?“, I had thought.

10 years on……

I feel lucky.  I cook all my “old” favourite dishes.  Chicken Curry is my eldest son’s favourite too.  My youngest loves the Minced-lamb Spaghetti and Tuna Pasta Bake.  I still love and enjoy Fish Sothi and Mee Hoon,… and hubby enjoys the Lamb Shanks cooked in White Wine on those cold and wet days.  I prepare all these dishes now,… and more. 

Some would say that we have been disadvantaged - by losing or diluting our culinary heritage.  Some would say that we are living a less healthy lifestyle - giving in to processed food and take-away meals.  Some would even say that we were neglecting traditions - as traditional customs and practices in relation to the preparation and consumption of food, give way to a more convenient lifestyle. 

I say - all of the above may be true to some extent.  However, at the end of the day, it isn’t just about food, is it? 

A purpose on wheels

We did it again today.  Roller skating that is.  It hasn’t even been a week since we were last at the rink - 5 days to be exact! But, as the story goes, the obedient parent could do nothing but give in to the demands of his children, …… and I had no choice but to agree or run the risk of being tagged “Mommy Killjoy”.

So, off we went. 

I have to honestly say,.. it wasn’t like I was dragged helplessly and forced to be an unwilling participant.  As soon as we arrived at the rink, I couldn’t help but feel the excitement.  Inside,… I was secretly clapping my hands and jumping up-and-down.  I even lost track of why I was there,… and only realised when I noticed myself eagerly tying the laces of my skates while my children sat struggling with theirs next to me.  (Don’t ask me where hubby was.  He was probably in a corner eagerly getting his skates on too.)

Once we were on the rink, we lost sense of the world we knew.  In our minds, we were in a new world.  A world, where humans rolled on wheels.  Walking was not an option.  We joined the masses, going round and round.  Occasionally, the host would request that we change direction.  We did as we were told.  There were young ones.  There were matured ones.  All with that same expression on their face - an expression of determination,… a purpose. 

…. and the Award goes to …..

This morning I had a wonderful suprise.  I received a “Nice Matters” Award from Laksh.  :-P   I felt warm and fuzzy in the inside,… and,… it was a good feeling. 

According to Laksh …. “Nice Matters Award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world.”

What can I say? I felt humbled and honoured to have this bestowed upon me.  I felt special.  As it would be for most, I too reflected on all the bloggers that I knew, and considered as to why they too deserved this honour.  And thus… my very own presentation of this award…….

….. I now present the Nice Matters Award to the following…..

Laksh (of course) - You have been an inspiration since the very first day I found my way to your blog. I love the way you are mindful about the details of life - many of us just don’t notice and appreciate all those wonderful “bits ‘n pieces” around us. But you do - and the way you write about life, makes us really sit up and notice. I thank you for this.

UL - For looking at the world through creative eyes,… and touching your readers in a unique way.  Your creative words inspire us to look within ourselves and the world around us from a new and often, enlightening perspective. I thank you for this.

Nicole3 - You inspire me with your strength and wisdom.  It amazes me as to how you write your past with fine detail - I can only imagine that you live your life with so much passion that you notice everything and nothing escapes you.  I also thank you for sharing the difficult times of your life and the wisdom that you personally gain from these times.  I learn something special from you, every time I visit your blog.  I thank you for this.

Kat - I love the way you look at life - and say it as it is.  Although we spent many years in school together (all those years ago), I feel that I know you so much more now.  (Thanks to blogging, no doubt).  Thank you for still hanging around.

Bavani - Your posts are very entertaining, especially when you write through the eyes of your little one.  I love the way you see the “funny” in everything.  Reading your posts reminds me to “lighten up”.  I thank you for this.

Dinesh and Kavi - I know you two just started blogging, but I can’t help but check your site often.  I love the way you are discovering yourselves.  This inspires me to appreciate that there is no single “right” way of self-discovery, and that we have to be brave to follow our own path.  I thank you for this.

♪ ♫ Happy Easter to one and all! ♪ ♫

Looking at you, and seeing myself

I was tagged by Sanity Found.  This was definitely a thought provoking one (the type that I love…..). 

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Human beings can often be a confused spieces.  This, I only speak from experience.  I often wonder why.  Why should we be confused?  Why should we confuse each other?  …… Maybe, it could be because for generations now, we have been echoing to each other that “we are different”.  Again and again.  How many times have you heard the phrase “I’m not you, I’m different!”.  Maybe, if we stopped and saw ourselves in each other,… our similarities,.. things would change.  We might actually turn out to be that “evolved species” that we claim to be……

Just a thought.

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The poem is shared by CordieB on her website.  I liked it so much that I thought I’d like to share it here too…. (Thanks Cordie )

Alike and Not

Simplify and ratify
Feelings that you bare
Understand how really grand
These emotions are we share
All mankind is blind
To how much we are alike
The human race is from one place
We all circle the same light
The thing that makes us individual
And not at all mutual
Is our dear sweet inner spirit
That keeps our fires lit
Without this singleness of soul
We’re like the ant in his hole
All puppets on a string
To the one who grabs the ring
Alike yet different each
As we walk along life’s beach
We share and learn from one another
Family all we are each other

–Written by Sharon Eoff

This poem is featured in Endless Mysteries, an Anthology of Poetry released by the International Library of Poetry in April 2002.

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…..and so the questions that I’ve been tagged are:

A. List 5-10 things of commanility that you have in common with the human race and/or nature.

B. List 5-10 things that you may have in common with the human race and/or nature.

My answers are below:

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A. List 5-10 things of commanility that you have in common with the human race and/or nature.

1.  We all have feelings, but our experiences of them are unique to ourselves. 

2.  We all physically and mentally change, all the time.  We are not static beings in any way.

3.  We all have history, most that we will never know off.  A lot of our history is passed to our children in the blood and cells that make them.  And so on it goes.

4.  We all need life. To see. To love. To think. To work. To play. To grow.

5.  We all need rest.

B. List 5-10 things that you may have in common with the human race and/or nature.

1.  Some of us, including myself, may want to change a stranger’s life in a BIG way.  Maybe even after we are no longer alive.

2.  Some of us, including myself, may sometimes want to break tradition.

3.  Some of us, including myself, may find it hard to say what we really feel.

4.  Some of us, including myself, may want to give back to Mother Nature what we can., even if it is only in a small way.

5.  Some of us, including myself, may sometimes just want to be lost in our thoughts. 

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And now for the tagging…… I chose:

1.  Bavani

2.  Laksh

3.  Kat

4.  Nicole

5.  Vani

6.  Dinesh and Kavi

7.  UL

When legality and traditions collide….

180398 was the date I got ‘legally’ married to my dearest hubby,…and therefore would like to wish him “Happy (Legal)Wedding Anniversary! . For those of you wondering what on earth do I mean by being ‘legally married’, this is my explanation:

As with many traditions, a wedding is a traditional/spiritual/religious occasion.  This is no different for Hindu weddings, where a marriage ceremony is held as an auspicious event, to gain the blessings of God.  As far as the ‘world’ is concerned, this is the day that the blessed couple become “man and wife”.  However, we all know that there is a statutory side to a marriage as well, …. where signatures on paper are required.  Most often, the legal and traditional parts of marriage all take place on the same day.  But, this wasn’t the case for me…… Hubby and I have a 1 year gap between our legal and traditional marriage.  We were traditionally wed a year later (280399).  The reason is based on another Hindu tradition: a year of mourning if there is death in the family.  This is a tradition where if a close family member dies (in my case, it was hubby’s father), the family do not celebrate any auspicious event.  They do not hold weddings and they do not celebrate traditional festivals.  (In recent years, I have noticed this tradition fading out as the demands of the new world and the newer generations change,… I will leave this for another blog post altogether….).

For me, the collision of legality and tradition has in this instance created 2 ‘marriages’ to celebrate…. My ‘legal’ wedding and my ‘traditional’ wedding.  So, today, hubby and I will celebrate our ‘10th ‘legal’ Wedding Anniversary and in 10 ten days time, we will celebrate our ‘9th ‘traditional’ Wedding Anniversary’!!!  . Now, …… is there anyone who is going to argue with this?

The photo was taken on 280399 (traditional wedding day )

When friends are friends for a reason

What do you do when you realise that a friend is being a friend for A REASON (or two).  How do you feel?  How SHOULD you feel?  I know, the manner in which you deal with this situation probably means more than the situation itself (being that LIFE is a journey to learn)……but, it is hard.

I am unfortunate to have had this dilemma follow me for a couple of weeks now.  It has now festered to a point that I am having dreams about it at night, resulting in more restless sleep.  I keep running it in my mind.  “My new friend was beginning to be a potential best friend”… I had thought many times in the last few months.  Being a (self-confessed) introvert, this was a big thing for me.  I believed that someone has seen past my quiet nature and eccentric taste in books, and actually liked me for the person I am.  Someone has found similarities in our lives and shared interest in what was important to us both.  Someone who appreciated my thoughts and ideas, and really listened to my words because  they truly cared for what I thought and felt. 

All this changed in just one instant….. the instant I found out the true reason for our friendship.  That instant was a phone-call.

(I apologise for not being able to put more details on the situation.  Why?  I guess, a little part of me is hoping that I am wrong and that the precarious friendship that it is now, will once again strengthen to the way it was. I don’t want to jeopardise that hope.)

Here I am, once again, bitter and torn.  Does every friendship have to be based on a selfish reason?  Is that the point that I have been missing out all this while?  If so,..that would explain why I don’t have many good friends - as I (often unconsciously) tend to avoid the people who want to know me for for their own personal interest/agenda. 

Please tell me ….. can you still be “good friends” with somebody after discovering that the main reason they wanted to know you was because of your unique ’skill and knowledge’, which they wanted for their own personal advancement?  And,… what if the ’skill and knowledge’ that they wanted was not yours,..but of your child’s. 

Happy St Patrick’s Day!!!

 

On Children

An excerpt from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
“Speak to us of Children”.
And he said:

Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your chilren
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in th earcher’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable.

Aren’t we all captives?

I started on a new book today.  It is called Ishmael, written by Daniel Quinn.  Unlike the many others that I have on my bookshelf, I didn’t buy this book.  It was given to hubby two days ago, along with another book (Mao’s Last Dancer), at a Conference he attended.  In other words,….this book came to me.

A quick check on the Internet, reveals that this is a controversial book, which “examines mythology, its effect on ethics, and how that relates to sustainability”.  The sources also point out that the 1999 movie, Instinct, starring Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr (among others), was inspired by this book.  [If memory serves me right, I had thought that this was a good movie, when I watched it all those years ago.]

Armed with this knowledge, I eagerly started on the book.  I am only a few pages past the front cover, but, already I am enthralled by its words. The question that was posed to me, just before I put it down earlier was this………

 Aren’t we all captives?

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I found this parable one of Ishmael’s website.  I thought that it was an interesting read.

Sinking Ship

The ship was sinking—and sinking fast. The captain told the passengers and crew, “We’ve got to get the lifeboats in the water right away.” But the crew said, “First we have to end capitalist oppression of the working class. Then we’ll take care of the lifeboats.” Then the women said, “First we want equal pay for equal work. The lifeboats can wait.”

The racial minorities said, “First we need to end racial discrimination. Then seating in the lifeboats will be allotted fairly.”

The captain said, “These are all important issues, but they won’t matter a damn if we don’t survive. We’ve got to lower the lifeboats right away!”

But the religionists said, “First we need to bring prayer back into the classroom. This is more important than lifeboats.”

Then the pro-life contingent said, “First we must outlaw abortion. Fetuses have just as much right to be in those lifeboats as anyone else.”

The right-to-choose contingent said, “First acknowledge our right to abortion, then we’ll help with the lifeboats.”

The socialists said, “First we must redistribute the wealth. Once that’s done everyone will work equally hard at lowering the lifeboats.”

The animal-rights activists said, “First we must end the use of animals in medical experiments. We can’t let this be subordinated to lowering the lifeboats.”

Finally the ship sank, and because none of the lifeboats had been lowered, everyone drowned.

The last thought of more than one of them was, “I never dreamed that solving humanity’s problems would take so long—or that the ship would sink so SUDDENLY.”