Sometimes, it is the ’small picture’ that matters most

No matter how neutral I’d like to be about the events that happen in my life,… some events just aren’t as easy to be neutral about,… or so I feel.  Yesterday, during our usual after school chat, my 6 year-old, V, told me that he was hurt by another boy in school.  The culprit, C.A,  is known to us, as he was V’s classmate the year before.  Even as V recounted the event to me, his eyes started filling up with tears….

It was recess and V was playing in the filed with a ball, with a few of his classmates - both girls and boys.  Then C.A suddenly turns up, apparently wanting the ball that V was holding at that time.  C.A tries to grab the ball from V, but V manages to evade him a little.  Retaliating, C.A grasps V’s hair with his fist and yanks his head backwards, holding on for a while.  In pain, V apparently dropped the ball and called out to his friends for help,.. but apparently they only just stood there watching in disbelief.  They were, after all,.. only 6 year olds.  Luckily for V, an older sister of another classmate saw the incident enfolding,.. and ran to him with her friends and stopped C.A. (She is 10 years old).  She consoled my little one and even made C.A apologise to V.  It was all over then.

After some kind words and a hug, I had to ask him the obvious question: “Did you tell your teacher?”.  “No.”  he answered.  As C.A had done something similar to him the year before as well, I was concerned.  I advised V to always report such matters to a teacher.  I hope I made him understand that this was not his fault and never would be.  I said to V that I would come speak to his teacher with him, to make her aware of this incident.  [This was important as C.A's and V's classes are partner classes - they combine most of the time and the children have to work with each other.]  V was thrilled that I would speak to the teacher with him. 

So, this morning, we left for school extra early.  My eldest, J, wanted to tag along too as I spoke to Mrs S (V’s teacher).  Lucky for us, Mr M who is C.A’s teacher was also right there.  And so it went.  I explained to them what had happened and told them that I was concerned as this was not the first time that we were having issues with the same boy.  They said that they were glad that I brought this up, as apparently, C.A hadn’t been reported on for a while.  Although I am  happy to know that this troubled child was seen as moving onto the right track in recent times, I wasn’t enthusiastic about it this morning.   I wanted not to look at the BIG PICTURE this time,… but at the SMALL PICTURE.  I wanted to be small-minded. Today, I didn’t want to be neutral.  I just want to be there for my son first. 

We will no doubt talk about this incident again.  I will explain to my children once again, how the world is made up of different kinds of people, and that reality isn’t like “100 Acre Wood”, where Winnie the Pooh and his friends live.  I don’t want them to be afraid of the world - but embrace the good with the bad.  I hope my children will grow up appreciating this and not feel victimised by life.  Ever.